Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Beautiful


In the wee hours of one morning, another sleepless, restless night, a song played on the radio. A song that gently tugged at my heart and washed away all the heaviness which bound it. "You're beautiful (no, it wasn't James Blunt), you were made for so much more than all of this". A song, that in my despair, I needed to hear. I was feeling anything but beautiful and doubting that I had a purpose, a life beyond being "sick". I had been finding it really difficult not to let my illness define who I am when it demands my attention at times and when I spend my time dealing with it 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. To hear those sweetly sung lyrics was God's way of gracefully reminding me that I am beautiful and that He has made me for so much more than my current circumstance.

"The days will come when you don't have the strength, when all you hear is your not worth anything" hit my heart, hard. Everyday I've been struggling to find the strength to just get by and survive another day and because of that I had been feeling as if I wasn't worth anything. How could I be if I struggle to just have a shower or clean my room? "I'm praying that you have the heart to find, cause you are more than what is hurting you tonight". I have no doubt that God used that song to speak to me that night, it was His way of letting me know that I am made for something greater than all of this, that I am stronger than my illness and that I am so much more than a "sick" person. Being in the midst of one of the worst and longest fatigue flares and feeling totally overcome I realised that I am so much more than a "fatigued" person. How many times I've had to turn down an invitation because "I'm fatigued" really gets me down but recognising that despite how lousy I may feel on the inside- I am not fatigue. I am Emily and despite lacking energy I know that I am blessed beyond measure, talented, smart, determined and ambitious. I know that I am dearly loved with a love that lasts forever.

Upon searching for the song to share with you, I had no idea who the artist was nor did I know the title of the song. All I knew was that I had to find it, not only for me but for others also. Ever since I heard that song I have felt stirred to share it. And so, I randomly typed in 'Christian songs- Beautiful' in you tube not liking my chances of finding it but amazingly it was the first video that came up. A coincidence? Definitely not. This song was not only for me, it is for someone else too. I hope it speaks hope into someones life like it did for me.


Artist: Mercy Me, Song: Beautiful







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3 comments:

phylor said...

Thanks for sharing the song! Sometimes music will "speak" to us in ways words alone cannot. Song lyrics are poetry for the ears!

W said...

I know exactly what you mean. I'll be sitting in traffic and a song will come on the radio that makes me want to cry. Feeling God's love is so cool! =)

Emily Ruth said...

phylor- they are indeed! I love how a song can just change your mood.

W- it's just the best!

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