Tuesday, September 13, 2011

From The Depths Of Depression




Depression is the most common symptom connected with chronic illness. In my time of living with multiple invisible chronic illnesses, I've had to deal with several bouts of depression; some mild, some gripping and some soul crushing.

I've survived haunting thoughts of self harm and suicidal thoughts as a result of unexpected medication side effects. I have dived into the ocean of despair when pain and fatigue have provoked hopelessness. I have battled sorrow and sadness.

I have travelled through the depths of darkness; the trenches of turmoil. I have been smothered by a blanket of darkness so thick and heavy that even breathing is a battle. I have been through the depths of depression and I am a stronger person because of it.

From the depths of depression I have learnt that there is hope for a better and brighter tomorrow. I have learnt that no matter how dark it gets, that you can always look up and see the stars. I have found joy; a purpose and a hope for the future from the waves of worthlessness.

Out of the darkest nights I have learnt that the dawn awaits. The dawn always awaits. I have discovered God's grace and blessing beyond measure. I have learnt that my God is greater. My God is greater.

I have learnt that I can make a difference, that my illnesses do not define who I am. I've learnt that things are still possible, even with pain. I have learnt that the most valuable times are not those spent on mountain tops but those that are spent in the deepest darkest valleys.

From the bottom of the pit of bereavement, I have learnt to dream bigger and better. I have learnt to smile through the sadness and find strength in the small achievements. In the times of darkness I have learnt to draw upon the goodness and grace of God.

Out of the depths of depression, I have learnt to place my trust in a peace superior to circumstance. I have greeted gratitude, kissed kindness and have been brought to my knees. I have come to understand that the tough seasons in life are preparation for an amazing and abundant future. I have chosen to believe that I have a prosperous future full of potential.

From the brink of breakdown I have come to know how infinitely beautiful life is and how precious I am in my heavenly fathers sight. From the depths of depression I have developed a more positive attitude. I have learnt new ways of accomplishing tasks despite pain and fatigue, and I have grown in peace, self acceptance, self appreciation and self knowledge.

Despite my pain and frustration and from the depths of depression I cling to the fact that my God is good and that he is worthy of all my praise. In the midst of everything I feel and experience, I have learnt that I can turn to Christ- the one who can create something beautiful out of the chaos.

From the depths of depression, I have learnt that hope will prevail. Hope will prevail.


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2 comments:

judithwesterfield said...

Wonderful post. Your prose style is lovely. I would like to share my favorite healing prayer with you:


Thy name is my healing, O my God, and remembrance of Thee is my remedy. Nearness to Thee is my hope, and love for Thee is my companion. Thy mercy to me is my healing and my succor in both this world and the world to come. Thou, verily, art the All-Bountiful, the All-Knowing, the All –Wise

It was given by Baha’u’llah from the Baha'i faith which embraces Jesus.

Miss Chronically Creative said...

Thank you Judy! You have made my week! That is beautiful, thank you so much for sharing with me. Oh an by the way I am terribly behind on blog reading and commenting, I've had to limit my blogging time due to back pain but I have catching up on your blog top priority on my to do list! Bless you x

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