Monday, December 16, 2013

It didn't seem that long ago

My beautiful Nan in her glory days
 
It's hard to believe a whole year has passed since my beautiful Nana went to party with Jesus.
 
It didn't seem that long ago when I was a child and sleepovers at her house were just all too exciting.
 
It didn't seem that long ago when I sat and admired her perfect cursive handwriting and begged her to teach me how to write like her.
 
It didn't seem that long ago when I sat in her back room next to the heater on a cold Saturday afternoon with a plate piled full of her glorious, lovingly prepared homemade food.
 
It didn't seem that long ago when she was asking me if I wanted to pick an ice cream from her freezer.
 
It didn't seem that long ago when I was walking down her long driveway; dodging the uneven slabs of concrete and admiring all the beautiful flowers in her garden.
 
It didn't seem that long ago when I tried to learn how to knit and whenever I added a few too many stitches or dropped one, I would hand my imperfect masterpiece over to her and she would always be able to fix the mess I had made.
 
It didn't seem that long ago when she was sitting in her chair eating a banana sandwich with a cup of tea beside her, wearing her apron.
 
It didn't seem that long ago when I sat at her kitchen table doing homework and rewarded myself afterwards by stuffing my face with a slice of her chocolate cake.
 
It didn't seem that long ago when she gave me a cupcake apron and recipe cards for christmas.
 
It didn't seem that long ago when I got my licence and I drove to her house, full of pride, all by myself for the first time.
 
It didn't seem that long ago when she was complimenting me on my pretty top and asking me if it was new and where I had bought it from.
 
It didn't seem that long ago when we were visiting her in hospital shortly before she received her cancer diagnosis, sharing our excitement of another episode of Revenge being on tv that night.
 
It didn't seem that long ago when I had a hard time thinking about life without her in it.
 
It didn't seem that long ago when I visited her in hospital at the start of her chemo and she sent me home with a packet of biscuits someone had given her. (Oh, typical Nan.)
 
It didn't seem that long ago when she was at home in between chemo treatments and didn't hang the phone up properly. A little worried, I drove to her house to make sure that she was ok and I walked through her back door, relieved to find her sitting happily with worship music blaring.
 
It didn't seem that long ago when she sat next to me at a family dinner and had two helpings of apricot pudding, and I knew I inherited my love of dessert from her.
 
It didn't seem that long ago when I sat in her lounge room on a big gorgeous green rug and showed her my new bargain winter clothes, and in amongst the idle chit chat she told me that her hair was starting to fall out.
 
It didn't seem that long ago when I took her to an appointment and I was sharing my excitement about the amazing crafts I saw at the Craft & Quilt Fair.
 
It didn't seem that long ago when I would call her and say "It's just me, would you like me to come and visit today?"
 
It didn't seem that long ago when I picked her up to take her to a church prayer meeting after she lost her hair from the chemo, and she walked out the door with her fancy wig on, beautiful makeup done, wearing that gorgeous pink cardigan of hers. As I helped her get into my car I thought: Oh how I'm going to miss her cuteness.
 
It didn't seem that long ago when I would drive to the cafe just a few blocks up the road from her house and get a lemon slice with a coffee to enjoy while we sat and watched the afternoon cooking shows together.
 
It didn't seem that long ago when I made a batch of marbled chocolate cheesecake brownies and carted them into the oncology ward and we sat in silence and ate them.
 
It didn't seem that long ago when it was awful to watch her struggle to remember how to walk.
 
It didn't seem that long ago when we had our very last conversation about cake.
 
Now I sit here thinking about how blessed I was to have such a fun, sweet, caring, trendy, in tune with the times Nan who made my childhood and high school years so special. I remember the awesome lunches she made us every weekend and how loved she made me feel. And I'm so thankful for what she has given me - a love of baking, a love of cursive handwriting, a love of blessing others, and so much joy.
 
Love and miss you Nan.

2 comments:

Just me Leah said...

Hugs. So much of this reminds me of my own sweet nan. So sorry for your loss.

piffle said...

i so feel for you. she sounds like my nan, glamour nan i call her!
we lost my dear grandad and since then my nan has been so different and bitter. he kept her calm and happy and im scared she wont recover. i keep sending her gifts and flying over there but its hard. sending you warmest hugs through this difficult time..

Awards. Proof that I'm awesome.

 

Blog Template by BloggerCandy.com